Author: garybentleycounselling

After 40 years in the media, several years in business and a total of 37 years married life, I am now a fulltime and qualified counsellor with a passion to help individuals become the best person they can be.

Responsibility For The Ripple

There are things that make us sad. There are things that make us happy. There are things that make us anxious. There are things that make us angry. There are many things that make us the who we are and dictate the way we live our lives. The dominant force in the lives we live … Continue reading Responsibility For The Ripple →

The Guile Of Denial

When it comes to the vital issue of personal mental health and wellbeing, far too many of us turn to denial as a first-choice coping strategy. It's much easier to identify flaws and shortcomings in the attitudes and behaviours of those around us than it is to admit our own failings and challenges. Denial means … Continue reading The Guile Of Denial →

Now And Zen

We may be in the present but we live with the past. We have memories, stories of times that were. And our memories are very specific because our perception of events differs from that of others. The way we remember events and people is personal. Often it is linked with the way we coped with … Continue reading Now And Zen →

No Bluff In Enough

Our need to belong, to feel part of something greater than ourselves, is never more clearly demonstrated than in our desperation to categorise. We all feel the pressure to fit into pre-defined boxes; to comply; to compromise; to conform. There are basic societal expectations. Rules have been put in place to protect us from ourselves. … Continue reading No Bluff In Enough →

A Monumental Moment

There are at least two difficulties when it comes to the issue of planning. One is necessity and the second is the very real possibility of ultimate futility. The problem we face is that it's not possible to have one without the other. We are all aware of the fact that failing to plan is … Continue reading A Monumental Moment →

To Thine Own Self

We are under constant pressure to put our faith and our trust in the people and products that surround us. We are required to allow decisions that will impact our life and wellbeing to be made on our behalf...by someone or something other than ourselves. We hand over responsibility - all too often without choice … Continue reading To Thine Own Self →

The Pall Of Recall

Memories can be cruel or comforting. They can be accepted or rejected. They can be altered or modified. One thing they cannot be is denied. Our memory is a record of the fortunate and unfortunate aspects of a life already lived. The past was a reality and that which was real remains real and is … Continue reading The Pall Of Recall →

Seeing And Deceiving

The frustration of hearing and understanding instruction is on a different level to the angst that can be generated by the effort put into accepting and following instruction. The difficulty is that there can be both truth and lies in instruction. One person's truth is another person's misdirection. Quite often that misdirection can be both … Continue reading Seeing And Deceiving →

Testing The Truth

Ignoring the truth is no way to disempower the truth. What is real and true will remain real and true despite the very best efforts of some to make it appear less than it is. When every effort to reframe it is dead and gone, truth will survive. We all have our ways of twisting … Continue reading Testing The Truth →

The Challenge Of Choice

We are given many opportunities to challenge ourselves...our beliefs, our behaviours, our thinking and our perceptions. It's only by accepting those challenges that can hope to gain the information we need to make the changes necessary for our growth and development. The trap is that acceptance is not mandatory. We all have a choice. We … Continue reading The Challenge Of Choice →