There are times when we feel compelled to attempt to be all things to all people. The attitude is fuelled by the mistaken belief that it is our sole responsibility to put to rights all that surrounds us. We want to do whatever it takes to ensure that everyone else is happy.
Such attempts are fruitless and doomed to fail. The fact is that we are all individually responsible for our own happiness and not everyone will find it in the same place at the same time.
The effort we put into being happy has a direct link to our mood and perspective. No effort means no change.
It starts with self respect. We all have values and we all have principles. Both are controlled and directed by the unique individual that we are. By the same token, we can either choose to enhance or spoil our own situation.
We can be better or we can be worse. The important thing is that we choose to be…to be part of the world that we occupy by creating our own space…to be true to ourselves in a bid to create an environment in which we can be true to others.
Chosen isolation is not the answer to feelings of inadequacy. And past mistakes do not reflect present, control or dictate the strengths or knowledge gained from lessons learned.
It’s our personal responsibility to understand our levels of contentment and happiness. Only then can we choose whether or not action is required to change. No-one else can do that for us and, conversely, it’s not possible to us to do that for someone else.
In giving of ourselves to the people around us we need to remember that we need to continually give back to ourselves.
It’s not possible to help others if our emotional tank is empty.
Attempting to do everything for everyone all the time is a quick way to deplete the resources we need to ensure our own happiness.
An attitude of gratitude is a good place to start.
Gary Bentley Counselling 