When it comes to the vital issue of personal mental health and wellbeing, far too many of us turn to denial as a first-choice coping strategy. It’s much easier to identify flaws and shortcomings in the attitudes and behaviours of those around us than it is to admit our own failings and challenges.
Denial means putting our problems in a griefcase and finding somewhere dark and secretive to hide that griefcase from our own view. The problem is that the griefcase is still present and its contents seep out – often at the most inopportune of times – and impact on the way we think and act.
Denial is a form of self-abuse. Pretence is no defence. Feigned ignorance is futile. Out of sight is most definitely not out of mind. Our demons have to be confronted in order to rob them of their power.
The importance of good mental health has never been more widely publicised and promoted. Strategies and assistance are there in abundance. The answers to so many of our questions are readily available.
And yet it would appear that mental health, generally, is in decline. We hurt and many people around us are in pain and so much of that suffering is unnecessary.
Life has a tendency to be as hard as we make it. It stands to reason then that it can be easier than it is.
The first step is to open our personal griefcase and examine its contents. The second step is to prioritise what we find. The next step is to strategise with resolution as our aim.
It takes focus, honesty, commitment and – most importantly – work.
It’s work we must do ourselves but it’s not work that we have to do alone.
Gary Bentley Counselling 