Wounds run deep. The hurt we have suffered can very much determine the direction we take. More significantly, though, the pain we carry impacts on the value we place on ourselves.
While the way the world around us sees and assesses us has its impact both emotionally and psychologically, the most harmful critic all too often is the person we have become.
The who that we are is an amalgam of all that we have been…all of our successes and all of our failures. The problem is that we have a tendency to give greater weight than we should to the opinions of others rather than trusting ourselves.
The more we are told that we are not enough, the more we will believe it. The external critic becomes the internal monologue. The danger is that we can become our own worst enemy when we need to be our own best friend.
Too often we are reluctant to dig deep into our own psyche because we know we will strike layers of shame, anxiety and fear. Those emotions are real and they hurt. But that reluctance is a denial of our life experience…choosing to ignore is no way to find resolution, peace and contentment.
There is a concerning tendency to accept the judgement of others by turning our back on the undeniable truth that we are unique individuals.
No-one else has experienced a set of circumstances that perfectly mimic our own. As a result others may have their own answers but attempts to copy and paste those answers into our own lives are likely to result in frustration.
We were never promised an easy ride when it comes to the matter of finding our own way.
But it starts with an understanding that we are enough. Building on that platform can take us anywhere.
Gary Bentley Counselling 