We’re taught the importance of acceptance and forgiveness…leaving the past in the past…the need to move forward…the simple mantra of getting on with getting on. And – at least at a surface level – we can appear to have all those things under control.
The problem is that there is more to us than presentation and appearance. It’s altogether possible to seem to be meeting the expectations and recommendations of those around us while remaining in confusion and turmoil within.
We may be quite adept at fooling some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time but the truth remains the truth and we have to live with the person we know ourselves to be.
We can function at that level but it’s not at the level of our best self.
We can do more – and it’s imperative that we strive to do more – for ourselves.
It starts with acceptance and should be followed by forgiveness.
The pain of living with self-condemnation may not be something others can see but it is something we can feel. And we can feel it very deeply and every waking moment.
Guilt can be crippling and there can be a lot of guilt linked to decisions and mistakes of the past.
Others have quite likely moved on but we are yet to come to terms with the fact that the past is the past and it’s in the past that any associated pain and trauma should belong.
In basic terms, we need to give ourselves and break and cut ourselves some slack.
We need to seek our own forgiveness if we are to become whole and fully functional.
We need to strive to be at peace with ourselves if we have any desire or expectation of being at peace with the world around us.
Gary Bentley Counselling 