We all have physical and emotional limits. We also have the capacity to extend ourselves to those very limits. It’s when we attempt to go beyond the boundaries imposed by nature that we can find ourselves in considerable distress. We may survive but we also run the risk of causing irreparable damage.
It’s the individual who decides when enough is quite sufficient. We choose when to push on. We choose when to stop. We know when our reserves are dangerously depleted.
Observers will make their own assessments based on their experience. But someone checking from the outside in cannot have the understanding and appreciation of someone checking from the inside out.
Key to survival in challenging circumstances is the often over-looked tool of self kindness. We are taught to be kind to others…to be accepting…to be caring. We are led to believe that our attitude to those around us is paramount. But what that does is leave the individual out of the equation. The result is putting effort into making the happiness of others our first priority. That is a fundamental mistake. It should all start with the person we are and within the space we choose to occupy.
We are responsible first and foremost for our own happiness. If we are unhappy with the person we are or we are uncomfortable in our own space then it is our responsibility – should we so choose – to do something about it.
Choice is key. Choice should always be informed. It starts with an assessment of the unique and personal knowledge we have of ourselves.
Is the issue worth pursuing? Do we have what it will take emotionally, physically and financially to see it through?
When questions outnumber answers we run the risk of sacrificing our happiness.
We are the only ones who can decide if that is it too high a price to pay.
Gary Bentley Counselling 