It’s convenient to believe that love conquers all. The truth is love can fall far short of meaningful connection.
While there is sense in the reasoning that love of self is a necessary foundation for progress to the ultimate love of others, it is insufficient when it comes to the cliched concept of two hearts beating as one.
All the will that we are able to muster will not be enough to attract the love of another. Individuals must make the decision for themselves and then build that decision into a commitment.
The focus then is on the capacity and the will of the individual to change. An altered state of mind can result in an altered state of being. Bad can become good; illness can be transformed into wellbeing. The potential is there but the strength needed may be absent.
When one heart is beating alone frustration results. A solo effort is not enough to guarantee a dual result. Unless both parties are on the same page the desires of one will not overcome the desires on the other.
It is essential that we accept the reality that we are unable to force change on another person. Sincerity is insufficient. Love is not enough.
Only when an individual decides that their behaviour and choices are self-harming and that they want to do something about it can the process of change begin. It’s at that point that the love and care of others gains real traction.
What the heart desires may not be what the head sanctions. Both have to work in unison to achieve the best result.
Gary Bentley Counselling 