When it comes to the vexed questions of who we should be, how we should act and how we can be more likeable and acceptable many of us hit the wall of mental confusion and anguish.
So many people spend an inordinate amount of time working on an image, trying to appear to be something or someone that they are not. That may work to a greater or lesser degree at surface level but it can leave the head and heart in turmoil.
Attempts to be a people pleaser can overlook one vital fact – the person we most have to please is ourself. We have to happy with who we are.
Who we are starts on the inside. It’s what we are. How we think dictates how we act. It’s head and heart working in unison.
No-one can be the person we are other than the person we choose to be. We are unique. But that means we are without excuse. While we are all flawed we all have unlimited opportunity to change. We get to make our own choices.
We can always be an improved version of the person we are right now. We can be more settled and we can be happier…but only if we allow ourselves to be so.
Sadness and confusion will continue if left unaddressed. Ignoring a problem or a flaw does not make it disappear.
No-one knows what is happening in our head and heart like we know. And our state of being cannot be changed unless we decide to change it.
The prospect of change can be daunting but it can also be essential as a means to an end.
Acceptance is the first step. That leads to understanding. Then we can start being true to ourself. It’s when we identify the problem that we can start working on a solution.
There is nothing physical or mental that we can encounter that has not been experienced by others. The only difference is that it is new to us.
Survival and recovery start within…and that’s where happiness can be found.
Gary Bentley Counselling 