Avoidance and confrontation sit at opposite ends of the emotional spectrum but extremes are rarely a sensible means to a peaceful and complete solution.
Emotional wellbeing is more likely to be found in the mid-ground…somewhere between rage and refusal…between acceptance and rejection. And that’s where choice comes in.
A problem for many though is that the power of choice is impeded by chemical or emotional intervention. What we do and what we think will help determine what we choose. Drugs and dilemma can cloud the issue.
Our quality of life is under the control and direction of the choices we make. If we are dissatisfied with the quality then an evaluation of choice is a necessary step to take. Self-examination can be a daunting prospect and, if not monitored, can lead to self-criticism which can quickly lead to self-destruction.
The first step is to find and then accept the fault within. Should we so choose, the next step is to put effort into repairing the damage that led to the fault developing.
A reassuring truth is that we all have faults. There are aspects of our character, opinions and behaviour that we find are a poor fit with our general assessment of the person we would like to be.
It’s not a matter of pretending to be someone or something that we are not. It’s a matter of being true to ourselves. And every day is a new opportunity to change and improve.
None of us knows how much time we have been allocated. But we do know if we are happy or sad…fulfilled or left wanting.
It’s important to become the change that we want. No-one can do that for us. The starting point is not the space we occupy but our own head and heart. It begins within. And no-one has better access to that part of us than we do ourselves.
Gary Bentley Counselling 