The Deal With Forgiveness

It can often be far easier to forgive someone else than it is to forgive ourselves.

Past errors or transgressions may have long been forgotten by everyone but the person we know ourself to be. We pack the memory, the pain and the shame into our personal grief case and continue to carry it with us while carefully concealing its contents.

There comes a time, however, when the weight gets too great to bear…when the suffering becomes too much…when the only answer is to find a solution.

It’s at that time it becomes necessary to confront whatever it is that we have been choosing to ignore. More than that, we have to put emotional energy into resolving whatever it is that has been particularly problematic.

At the end of the exercise sits two outcomes…acceptance and self-forgiveness. In and of themselves they are enough but both can be complicated issues.

Self-forgiveness in particular is something many people find extremely difficult. Circumstances can force a person’s hand long before they have prepared themselves. Ultimately however there is an absolute that must be confronted…that while it is possible to hide from the world it is impossible to hide from the person we are.

Suffering in silence is still suffering. And self-criticism can be the most harmful judgement many people will ever face.

It’s worth considering whether we could find it in our hearts to pardon another person…to forgive them of past mistakes.

If that much is possible then it should also be possible to extend the same grace to ourselves.

We need to look inside our own grief case and deal with issues before the combined weight of them crushes our spirit.