We have all said and done things we regret. For that reason we all seek forgiveness. Forgiveness takes away the weight of guilt. It’s by unlocking from the past that we are granted the freedom to enjoy the present and move into the future.
A lot of our energy can be spent on the pursuit of forgiveness in the mistaken belief that, once granted, we can then forget. The problem is that our heads can be far stronger than our hearts. Memories last but the pain eases.
Central to forgiveness is the conscious decision not to seek revenge for a hurt either real or imagined. It’s about deciding where and when the pain should stop. It’s about moving on. But that’s where we can face our greatest challenge.
We can be our own harshest critic. We may find it difficult to forgive others but an impossibility to forgive ourselves. Too many people continue to punish themselves for past mistakes. While it’s possible to distance ourselves from situations and individuals that have caused us pain, it’s not possible to escape the person we are. Drugs, alcohol and denial may blur the picture but sobriety and honesty return us to clarity.
An understanding of true forgiveness starts with the person we know ourselves to be. And if we lack love for that person we can choose to change.
Gary Bentley Counselling 