Mental well-being is dependent on a regular balance between the head, the heart and the gut. The gut is all about snap reactions, the head takes care of rationality and commonsense while emotions come from the heart.
Rarely is the desired balance more upset and challenged than when a loved one dies. It’s at those times of loss when we are most confused and conflicted. What we know is not necessarily what we feel; what was once clear is suddenly thrown out of focus. A return to stability can take some time.
It’s important to accept that loss means we are never the same again. We are influenced by the people we meet. We are changed by those we love and lose.
There is no manual for personal reaction; no right or wrong way to react. The world outside our physical self keeps turning. The world inside needs to be re-set. It takes time to heal and rebuild and only we can do it. Accepting that can be difficult.
The work involved is as necessary as it is painful. But overall we must accept that we are human. That means taking ownership of what we feel and allowing it to happen.
The reality is that we do not get over the death of someone we love. The consolation is that we get through it.
Gary Bentley Counselling 