One of our great failings as individuals is the tendency to talk a lot but to say very little. Words are both cheap and disposable. We use them as a disguise and as a shield. We use them as weapons. So much of what we say is fuelled by uncertainty and fear. We hide behind our words.
Too often there’s a disconnect between what we say and what we are feeling. We avoid honesty. That which is in our heads and our hearts can have no relation to the words we are saying.
We justify such behaviour by making ourselves believe that we are protecting our audience…that by choosing to say things that mean nothing we are at least doing something.
We spend a lot of time wasting time.
That’s not to suggest that brutal honesty should be the opening tactic in every relationship. There is a place for honesty. But just as there’s a place for honesty there’s also a place for reflection and consideration.
If we all took some time to think about what we feel compelled to put into words before we speak them there would be far less emotional and mental anguish in the communities we occupy. People would suffer less.
Relationships fail as much because of what has been done as for what has been said. A verbal attack can take far longer from which to recover than a physical assault despite what we have been chanting from childhood about sticks and stones.
It’s long been said that rather than say something hurtful it’s preferable to remain silent. There’s value in that advice.
Just as there’s immeasurable value in treating other people the way we want to be treated.
Words are cheap and disposable. It’s up to every individual to add value to them by the more considered selection of what’s being said, when it’s being said and to whom it’s being said.
Gary Bentley Counselling 