The widespread expectation that certain emotions should be supressed can, if embraced, result in psychological damage. That we should pretend to be something we’re not can be exhausting, confusing and ultimately self-defeating.
It’s important that we truly experience the things we are feeling. It’s vital that we should own our feelings in full recognition of the reality that what we think and what we experience are essential to who we are. Who we are is a balance between head and heart. And it’s variations in that balance that makes us all individuals. We are all the same and yet we are all different.
But emotions can be challenging…and that’s why learning to control them is essential to our ongoing existence as contributing members of society. Bouts of emotional excess are unsurprising. The triggers are all around us. The degree of love, hate, sadness or happiness we experience at any one time can be extreme. And that’s as it should be.
It’s when life is lived at an extreme that we run the risk of losing our perspective. If we concentrate on the small picture we are unlikely to be able to see the big picture.
If the way we are feeling hits a peak or falls into a trough we need to reassure ourselves that the experience doesn’t define us, neither does it restrict us. The answer is to accept it and then move forward…forward towards the target of a common sense balance.
Gaining control over a negative emotional extreme before it endangers ourselves or those around us can take more practice and effort for some than it does for others. Sadly, for some, it can be a bridge too far.
The better we get to know ourselves, the easier self control can become and the more peaceful our lives will be.
Gary Bentley Counselling 