The demands of everyday living require that we keep focused and keep busy. Quite often the pace at which we live becomes frenetic. And that’s all well and good. We all need a level of stress to function at our best.
The danger is that stress can become unmanageable…that it can become exaggerated to the point where it becomes all-consuming. It can happen by degrees. One day we are coping well, the next we feel swamped and powerless.
A survival strategy involves prioritising the pressures we face. Decide which is the most demanding problem and work – where and when possible – on a solution. One day at a time and one hassle at a time. It takes discipline but it has its rewards.
Another technique too many people overlook is debriefing. It’s not a solo exercise. It involves one of more people facing the same or similar pressures. It’s about sharing; talking through problems; airing concerns.
Debriefing doesn’t necessarily resolve issues. Often the issues at the heart of the matter are outside the area of influence of those they affect the most. There’s only so much an individual can do.
But having a chat breaks down the isolation many people feel when pressure mounts. Putting into words the thoughts that are pounding away in our brains is cathartic. When we verbalise our concerns and hear what we are saying we can make more sense than when we think them. Situations are clarified. Pressure is eased.
A debrief can be a confirmation of our fears and worries or it can point the way to a resolution. At the very least it can be a reassurance that others are feeling our pain and there’s comfort that can be drawn from that.
Never underestimate the value of a chat with workmates, friends, or partners. We all have the need to know that other people care. And it’s care that prevents despair.
Gary Bentley Counselling 