Sometimes the most confusing and conflicting emotion associated with loving someone is not liking them. But there are often people who have a place in our heart but who can’t have a place in our lives. The result is emotional anguish.
We can feel tormented and confused when we are faced with situations and individuals who are beyond our control and influence, particularly when those individuals are family members. It’s difficult to understand that those we wish the best for fail to want the best for themselves.
So much of the baggage we carry and the stress we feel can be tracked back to relationships that have failed or are failing. Everyone has a story to tell. No-one is alone in the difficulties they face.
But as much as we will change in other people there is no way we can force it. Ultimately the raw truth is that we are all personally responsible. The only life we can live is our own.
It makes sense to step back from stressful situations in order to gain a proper perspective. It’s important to find an empathic audience and verbalise problems. Listening to what we are saying can paint a different picture to the one we have locked inside our head. Solutions are not only thought out but they are talked out.
Self preservation is vital to survival. If we fail to put effort into caring for ourselves we run the risk of losing our way. We are responsible for deciding how much of ourselves we are going to invest…where, when and why. There comes a time when it may be necessary to withdraw and regroup.
Understanding our own limitations and boundaries and taking care to stay within them will mean that we can not only be our own best friend but that we can contribute to the wellbeing of those around us when they are prepared to take the help and advice being offered.
Gary Bentley Counselling 