The one thing most of us have in common is the desire to be heard. Another thing many of us have in common is the frustration that comes from believing that we’re not being heard.
Relationships founder because we lose the subtle and important art of communication. Either through neglect or ignorance we stop hearing what is being said. We devalue the words spoken by specific individuals. In so doing we demonstrate that we devalue the speaker. Individually that leads to isolation; collectively it leads to the destruction of the links that bind and hold a society together.
We seek acceptance. We look for love. We crave stability. Such desires come with responsibility.
Not everything that is said is valuable. Not every word from every mouth is golden. But words are important and should be both heard and evaluated. The exchange of ideas and beliefs powers change. It raises questions. It also answers questions. That’s the heart of successful communication.
So much of the sadness and depression that grips society today stems from the belief of an individual that they are not being heard. That negativity is amplified in personal relationships. As much as we want our significant other or those in our immediate circle to hear what it is that we have to say, so too do they crave a sympathetic audience. We all want the same thing but too few people are delivering. Relationships crumble when communication falters.
We learn more about individuals, situations and circumstances when we take the time and make the effort to listen. If observation preceded communication there would a reduction in the temptation to proceed to confrontation.
An advantage is that listening affords us the time to properly prepare a considered response. It’s value adding. It’s considerate. And it ensures that everyone feels they are being heard.
Gary Bentley Counselling 