Obsessing about the failures of yesterday is self-defeating. We have all made mistakes, wrong choices and bad decisions. And yet so many people expend much of their emotional energy worrying about that which has been and gone. The past is set in time. It’s behind us and simply can’t be changed. We can make excuses for the past, apportion blame, accept responsibility but no amount of effort or energy can alter history.
The best we can hope for is that we learn from our history; that what has been can be used to help plan for what is to come; that mistakes become opportunities for retakes.
But fear of the future can also be self-defeating. We know that we had a yesterday. We can merely hope that we have a tomorrow.
The very best we have is today…this hour, this minute…our next breath. An action taken or a decision made in the next 30 seconds can change the course of our life. That’s what makes today so important.
We should appreciate the importance of today. We need to fully realise that our today will become our yesterday and that there’s every probability of a tomorrow waiting for us. This day is our certainty. It’s our reality and it’s ours to do with what we choose.
If we strive to make each and ever day our best, happiest and most enjoyable day possible then that is the direction our life will take.
It’s important, however, not to lose touch with realism. We must accept the fact that absolute perfection is unattainable. We are flawed. Those around us are flawed. But that should not deter us from striving to be the very best version of ourselves that we can be.
Acceptance and effort are two ways to deal with stress and anxiety. It’s a solo quest for happiness and fulfilment. No-one else can do it for us.
Gary Bentley Counselling 