The root cause of much of the disappointment, dissatisfaction and frustration we experience is habitual behaviour. We do what we do because we have always done it. We believe what we believe because we have always believed it. And yet we feel unfulfilled. Unhappy.
The start of the answer is to take the time for an honest reassessment. Although potentially unsettling, it’s necessary to take a good hard look at what it is that makes us the person we are. If we are unable to understand ourselves and, through understanding, love ourselves, then it will forever be a battle to accept and love others. Life will continue to be awkward with unnecessary grief and suffering. We will never be able to become the very best version of ourselves.
While it’s true that old habits die hard the takeaway message is that they can be killed off. Change is possible. It’s not necessary that we continue to be trapped in our past. We can re-evaluate, reshape and relaunch.
While there is help available – individuals and organisations that can and will assist – the process of change is very much a personal journey. No-one can know us the way we know us. No-one can change us in the way we want or need to be changed.
We must take ownership of our decisions, our actions and the consequences of those actions. Sadly it’s the realisation of that responsibility of ownership that acts as a roadblock for so many. But those who repeatedly sidestep a review of the life they are living and the path they are travelling are destined to continue causing themselves pain and sadness.
The good news is that the best change is gradual change. Bad habits can be broken. Improvement and development should be done by degrees. Every day presents a fresh opportunity to take a step forward toward a better and happier life.
Gary Bentley Counselling 