Much of the anxiety many people suffer results from their perception that they are not living up to their own expectations. They know they are capable of more but think things aren’t happening fast enough for them.
We can criticise ourselves for being what we see as an under-achiever. We can become our own bully. We are our own worst enemies.
A large part of the problem lies in the way we compare ourselves to other people. We see them as achieving the success we desire. We measure their apparent state of fulfilment and happiness with what we know of ourselves.
But the core of the problem is the way we compare the person we want to be with the person we actually are. The result can be confusion and disappointment.
The answer lies in realistic targets and expectations and persistent effort. The danger likes in expecting too much of ourselves too quickly.
Anxiety and stress can turn commitment into catastrophe. Incentives need to be nurtured; positivity encouraged.
If we have a clear picture of an achievable target and understand that it’s a potholed path linking Point A to Point B the best and most sensible strategy is to put one foot in front of the other. It’s a conscious effort made daily. For some it’s a conscious effort made hourly. But it’s worth every ounce of effort.
At regular intervals it’s necessary to assess progress…to measure where we are against where we were…to take the time to give credit to ourselves for whatever it is that we have achieved, no matter how minor.
And if, and when, we reach the target we have set we can regather, regroup, reassess and set another target.
It’s important to do things by degrees, in our own time and accepting that we are unique.
Planning is important but it’s in the doing that things get done.
Gary Bentley Counselling 