One of the most difficult truths that we must all inevitably accept is that there are many things beyond our control and influence. There are situations and events that will remain unchanged despite the amount of worry, stress and anxiety we allot to them.
What we would prefer is not necessarily what we will get; what we desire is often beyond our reach. And it will forever be that way. Coming to terms with that can be difficult.
Time and effort spent attempting to force change in an individual, for example, is wasted and often self-destructive. Attitudes and behaviours will not change until the individual accepts that change is both necessary and desirable.
There are many sad and unjust issues in our family circles, our communities, in our country and in our world and little we can potentially contribute to their resolution. Anguish and heartache over issues outside our reach can draw our attention away from those things that are closer and which could possibly benefit from our attention.
The difficulty lies in determining where and what we can change…and then coming to terms with it. The very best of intentions can blind us to realistic possibility. Heart-felt desire alone is insufficient and can be a short-cut to devastating disappointment.
The best way to become an agent of change is to become the subject of change. The only thing over which we have ultimate control is ourselves. A change of attitude can result in a change of perception; a change of perception can lead to a change of direction; a change of direction can lead to a desired and otherwise unachievable outcome.
By focussing on modifying and changing the person that we are we can become stronger and more resilient; the person we desire to be. Stronger and more resilient people influence change by example.
It really is very much a matter of individual commitment and responsibility.
Gary Bentley Counselling 