We all get nervous and we all get stressed. It’s a normal part of everyday existence. In fact there are those who say that some nervousness and some stress are necessary and even advantageous, helping us be more grounded and focused.
Many people have strategies ensuring that nerves and stress don’t overwhelm them. They’re equipped to handle anxiety and uncertainty. They know their limits. They can cope.
Other people are less fortunate. For them stress and nervousness feed anxiety loosening their grip on reality and resulting in ongoing pain and confusion.
But even the most prepared can be blindsided by what life throws at them. The unexpected can catch them off guard. The danger in such situations is that the individual can miscalculate their coping capacity. They can expect too much of themselves. Inflated confidence coupled with harsh self-judgement can have a devastating result.
At some level everyone is vulnerable. At some level everyone needs advice and assistance; a sympathetic ear; a kind word; unbiased and non-judgemental guidance and encouragement. Often that is not on offer from family and friends.
The sad reality is that far too few people seek help even when help is available. Reluctance to admit the need for support or the inability to recognise it can result in unnecessary suffering, psychological damage and prolonged recovery times.
New research shows 37% of people who seek support for anxiety had already been experiencing symptoms for longer than 12 months. Close to 1 in 5 waited longer than six years. Doubtless many of these people believed they could manage without assistance. It took them a long time to realise they were wrong. Perhaps those people over-estimated their own coping skills; perhaps they chose to ignore the advice of those around them.
While it’s not a good idea to jump at every shadow it’s important to be able to tell the difference between a shadow and a black cloud that will not shift.
There’s no embarrassment in asking for help.
Gary Bentley Counselling 