A lot of us spend an inordinate amount of time searching for the answers we already have. We fret and worry because we find the truth of the answers to those questions unacceptable. We want another solution; a different response; an easier path. We want to dictate and decide for ourselves.
Living in the real world doesn’t work that way. Contradictory attitudes results in conflict. We clash with the world around us.
If we fail to acknowledge societal parameters, if we choose to ignore the rules, regulations and guidelines that are part and parcel of being a functioning member of the real world we are more likely to be met with rejection rather than the acceptance that we all seek.
That’s not to suggest that we can’t be agents for positive change…that we must accept what is and reject the notion that it can be any better…that we are unable to contribute to improvement.
First, however, is acceptance of a significant universal truth – that every individual is personally responsible and must accept the consequences of their actions and decisions.
And that’s where many of us founder. There’s a belief that if we push hard enough, wish hard enough or pray hard enough we will be able force another person to change direction; that we can assume responsibility that is not ours to assume in the first place.
And it’s in clinging to that belief that so much anxiety is generated. The downside to anxiety is that it’s self-destructive…that the person most affected is the person experiencing the anxiety…and that no good can come of it.
We must accept that the only person we are able to change is ourselves and then focus on shaping and building the very best possible version of ourselves. That often involves accepting answers we already carry in our hearts and heads.
Gary Bentley Counselling 