We have a number of basic psychological needs and we can spend a lifetime seeking to have those needs met. A core need – and one that is central to every individual’s existence – is the need to be understood.
Understanding leads to acceptance; acceptance to love; love to fulfilment. If we feel we are not being understood we experience frustration and frustration is corrosive, damaging our confidence and our sense of worth.
In the quest for acceptance we can be led down dead-end paths by insincere individuals pursuing their own agendas. Such experiences add to the burden of the emotional and spiritual baggage we carry. The load becomes more cumbersome and taxing with every negative experience.
So we can spend what can be an inordinate amount of time looking for someone who is empathic; someone who has the capacity to understand or feel whatever it is that we are feeling from our own frame of reference; someone we can trust.
The cynicism with which we attempt to protect ourselves can result in us failing to recognise that special someone when our paths cross. Past hurts can make us hyper-protective blinding us to what would otherwise be obvious.
The good news is that each day brings with it fresh opportunity; another chance to either get things right or set things straight. And the chance to learn from our own experiences and express empathy for someone who is struggling, encouraging them to continue putting one foot in front other the other.
We are not alone and we have a responsibility to offer the assistance to others that we would expect from them.
Gary Bentley Counselling 